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The Lost Years: Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare, by Kristina Wandzilak Constance Curry
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Review
"The Lost Years is one of the most important books on family addiction and recovery that I have come across in years. It allows the readers a rare, simultaneous look into the hearts and minds of both the co-dependent and the addict. Kristina and her mother take us through the suffering, turmoil and destruction of addiction right on through to forgiveness, reconciliation and redemption. This book is invaluable to families, and I am proud to recommend The Lost Years." -- John Bradshaw, best-selling author of Healing the Shame That Binds You and Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, and one of the leading authorities on co-dependency and family recovery"This is the most important book I have read this year. I couldn't put it down." -- Anne Lamott, best-selling author of Grace (Eventually), Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird, Traveling Mercies, Rosie, All New People, and Blue ShoeThis book touches on both sides of addiction the side of the addict and that of the enabler. -- Cheri and Pat Summerall, former American football player and legendary sportscaster, and his wifeThis is a powerful and amazing book. I could not put it down. -- Michael Pritchard, PBS host and child advocateThis is the most extraordinary memoir I have ever read. -- Stephanie Brown, Ph.D., psychologist and author
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Product details
Paperback: 280 pages
Publisher: Jeffers Press; 1st edition (September 1, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780977761814
ISBN-13: 978-0977761814
ASIN: 0977761819
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.8 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.8 out of 5 stars
411 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#80,105 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Anger and resentments are tough for us alcoholics to tolerate and lead to addiction-fueled behavior. Alcohol and drug abuse bring about isolation and humiliation and this abuse fundamentally changes who we are, resulting in a complete loss of dignity and self-respect. But an unconditional decision to change can reverse the loss of sanity which addiction causes. Commitment to recovery, sobriety and the total assumption of personal responsibility leads to self-love through forgiveness and a spiritual connection. With sobriety also comes renewed energy for life and more importantly, humility.A mother and a daughter juxtaposed through both addiction and recovery demonstrate there is a way out of seeming irreparable disaster and into a complete restoration of precious relationships. Ultimately, an amazing, well-written true story.
The Lost Years is a brutally honest book about addiction. It's very vivid and it really draws you into the emotion and heartbreak that addiction causes. As others have said, what makes this book different from most is the way it's written from the perspective of the addict and a family member, her mother. It's not a medical book describing the effects of drug abuse. It's the true ugliness and desperation of it. I read this book in a day and a half and the entire time I read it, I wished that it had been available when my little brother was struggling with addiction to meth amphetamine. The damage it caused, not only to him, but to our family was immeasurable. None of us were equipped to, or knew how to deal with him. Thankfully, he has been clean for several years now. When my dad passed from cancer in 2010, he actually had a dying request. He asked my brother to stay clean and he has. He has completely turned his life around. I just wish my parents could have read this WHILE we were going through it.Kristina is an inspiration as is her mother. I think a lot of the credit for Kristina's success goes to her mother, Constance. She did the hardest thing a parent can do. She stopped enabling her child. She made sure her daughter knew she loved her, then told her she had to leave the home. As long as she was using, Constance could not allow her addiction to effect her life and the lives of her other children. She went into her own recovery, had her own support system and got herself into a healthy place. She learned how to deal with the addiction in a very difficult, but healthy and ultimately successful way. I love that Kristina has made her life about helping others. Who better to help an addict than someone who has been through it? I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to all parents whether they've faced addiction or not. You never know whose path you may cross or where you will meet someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Even if your children are grown, they may have kids of their own someday. A lot of times, surviving addiction requires the effort and hard work of the people around the addict. The addicts job to get and stay clean but that is only the beginning. Long-term success depends on the addict and everyone around them. As cliche as it sounds, reading this book and reaching out to someone like Kristina could very well save the life of someone you know and love.
This is the best book I have ever read on addiction/substance abuse. I have probably purchased this book 20 times to give to users and/or their families. As a therapist, I have worked in the field of abuse for over two decades. The real teachers are those who have experienced the disease and the life first hand. Kristina describes her life and her falling to darkness with brilliant insight and horror. Connie describes the "choice" as a mother that she is given--which is no choice at all. Yet, the two of them fought courageously. Kristina fought to get a life back. And Connie fought to let her--even if there was a chance she would lose her daughter forever. Hero's like these two are seldom observed.I also know that sadness and tragedy did not end for Kristina. Years after this book was published, Kristina again had to fight life's darkness. She has done so with grace and honestly and strength--and remaining sober. Both mother and daughter --Amazing women.
This is an absolutely heart wrenching yet thought provoking book of not only the struggles of addiction but the effect it has on the entire family. Further, it speaks on how our family dynamics and childhood have a profound effect on us whether positive or negative. I liked that it was written from both the daughter and mother's perspective. This is a raw, brutally realistic look into the life of addiction. As a recovering alcoholic who has recently come off of a 5 year relapse, this has spoke to me deeply. At times a difficult read (for those of us struggling with addiction) but a definite must read; just wish I could get my mother to read this.
A wonderful story! It is a story for anyone and every one who is an addict, a family member or friend of an addict. It is well written, a page turner. I used to be an avid reader but have not finished an entire book in years. I read this one in two days. I feel like I know this family.The story is so well told that I feel I understand so much more than ever before about the addicts in my family, those who are not addicts and the effects on them, myself, and co-dependency.Every other chapter was the mother's story, and every other one the alcohol addicted daughter's story. And through it all you could see the profound effects on each of the other family members.I highly recommend this book. It is so well told, it may bring you to tears in some places as it did me. But it sheds a bright light on an often misunderstood topic.
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